Alien’s Swift Guide to Earth Religion

Christianity:
Catholic – Power crazy repressed homosexual men’s club
Church of England – God without the fuss of ‘Religion’.
Presbyterian - Religion without the fuss of ‘God’
Free Presbyterian – God and Religion without the fuss of ‘Fun’
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) – Replacing the fuss of ‘Fun’ with the fuss of ‘Polygamy’.
Evangelists – The Worship of Money

Islam - Teddy bear-hating over sensitive people in hot climates who are largely angry at being depicted as Teddy bear-hating over sensitive people in hot climates.

Atheists – Replacement of religion with arrogance

Agnostic – Replacement of religion with nervousness

Hinduism – The religion of the lactose intolerant

Buddhism – The religion of jobless hippies and failing movie stars

Sikhism – The hatred of hats and the Gillette razor company (also quite annoyed at being mistaken for Teddy bear-hating over sensitive people in hot climates who are largely angry at being depicted as Teddy bear-hating over sensitive people in hot climates.)

Juche - is the only government-authorized ideology in North Korea, like Irish Catholicism only more honest.

Judaism – The religion of Bankers and 1950’s New York comedy writers

Israeli Judaism – Hitler’s vision come through; one state suppressing all other peoples.

Baha’I – Society of wannbe Jews and hippies who aren’t sure what year it is or where they are at the moment but there’s sandwiches so let’s go with it!

Shinto – The Catholicism of the East

Wicca – The religion for those who don’t like to was too often and make things up (flying spaghetti monster anyone!)

Rastafarianism – The worship of Bob Marley

Church of Scientology – The one true Religion (if you brain has been removed with an ice-cream scoop and replaced with the ice-cream)