Thursday, July 28, 2011
Alien’s Swift Guide to Earth Religion
Catholic – Power crazy repressed homosexual men’s club
Church of England – God without the fuss of ‘Religion’.
Presbyterian - Religion without the fuss of ‘God’
Free Presbyterian – God and Religion without the fuss of ‘Fun’
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) – Replacing the fuss of ‘Fun’ with the fuss of ‘Polygamy’.
Evangelists – The Worship of Money
Islam - Teddy bear-hating over sensitive people in hot climates who are largely angry at being depicted as Teddy bear-hating over sensitive people in hot climates.
Atheists – Replacement of religion with arrogance
Agnostic – Replacement of religion with nervousness
Hinduism – The religion of the lactose intolerant
Buddhism – The religion of jobless hippies and failing movie stars
Sikhism – The hatred of hats and the Gillette razor company (also quite annoyed at being mistaken for Teddy bear-hating over sensitive people in hot climates who are largely angry at being depicted as Teddy bear-hating over sensitive people in hot climates.)
Juche - is the only government-authorized ideology in North Korea, like Irish Catholicism only more honest.
Judaism – The religion of Bankers and 1950’s New York comedy writers
Israeli Judaism – Hitler’s vision come through; one state suppressing all other peoples.
Baha’I – Society of wannbe Jews and hippies who aren’t sure what year it is or where they are at the moment but there’s sandwiches so let’s go with it!
Shinto – The Catholicism of the East
Wicca – The religion for those who don’t like to was too often and make things up (flying spaghetti monster anyone!)
Rastafarianism – The worship of Bob Marley
Church of Scientology – The one true Religion (if you brain has been removed with an ice-cream scoop and replaced with the ice-cream)